Step 9 The 9th Step Promises and Making Amends

living amends aa

They are being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Whenever possible, a direct amend is made face-to-face rather than over the phone or by asking someone else to apologize on your behalf. “Freedom” seems to be the word that most clearly describes the essence of Step Nine. It seems to sum up the relief from guilt and shame, the lessening of our obsession with “self”, and the increased ability to appreciate what’s really going on all around us. We may even start to think of our past as a gold mine of experiences to share with other people we’re trying to help in recovery, instead of as a period of darkness that we regret.

  • I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.
  • Accept that there is always a possibility you will be yelled at or otherwise rejected.
  • There is much for you to be proud of as you approach the three-quarter mark of your recovery steps, but these can feel like precarious steps.

The 12 Steps For Each Major 12 Step Program

However, you can still take action in all of these situations to living amends definition satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work. The reason I give this disclaimer is making amends is a personal thing. Since we do not likely know one another, I cannot tailor your amends for the people you need to reach out to. Take your time as you go through the 12 steps of recovery, and God will reveal what you need to do. If you feel overwhelmed by the numbers found in 12-step recovery programs (the principles, steps, and lessons), check out this FREE list of CR Numbers. I don’t call him to see how his meeting went this week or what step he’s on.

Support Our Mission

living amends aa

The complexity of individual situations is why consulting with sponsors and professionals can assist greatly in your recovery process. In Step 9, participants acknowledge the negative impact their addiction had on others and commit to direct amends where possible. True amends go beyond apologies; they involve sustained change.

Step Nine: Making Amends in Recovery

Those in recovery are encouraged to keep an ongoing ninth step in their life by continuing to pay off debts and refraining from lying, stealing, or cheating. The ninth step is very action-oriented and provides a sense of relief. Although step nine can be difficult, participants should remember that if it were easy, everyone Sober living house would be doing it. It takes willingness and courage to reflect on and find a resolution to your mistakes.

living amends aa

Recovery Coaching

When approaching a relationship with God or anyone else, you need a good line of communication. You can listen to God through the Bible, and you can talk through prayer. Book Jason for speaking engagements, events or appearances and let him bring the message of recovery & hope. Our sponsors can help us explore each of these concepts so that we gain perspective on the nature of our specific amends and stay focused on what we’re supposed to be doing. The key is that we keep the focus on ourselves and our “side of the street,” so to speak. This list is Step 8, and it’s an imperative prerequisite to Step 9.

Your Future Starts at Silvermist

living amends aa

And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments. On the surface, making amends might sound as simple as offering a sincere apology for your treatment of others, but there’s more to this cornerstone Twelve Step practice.

living amends aa

Addiction Treatment Programs

Some people’s greatest wish may be that you remain sober and continue recovering. Others may prefer never to speak again or even wish you ill on the way out of the door. The future of your relationships is never guaranteed, but you will feel better knowing you have done your best to remedy your prior errors. Use this list to reflect on the impact of the things that occurred and the accountability you are now capable of owning.

  • We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
  • Remember, we are present to clean “our side of the street” or address our wrongs and roles to the best of our ability.
  • More than an apology, it’s about making genuine amends—taking action to correct past mistakes without causing harm.
  • At this point in our step work we may be trudging the road to happy destiny, but we’ve reached the point where we must repair what we left behind us on a path of shattered relationships.
  • This can occur in person, by phone, email, or any other form of communication.

The 8 Cs That Help Me Be All Right Coloring Book

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will https://ecosoberhouse.com/ lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

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